Many marriages fail even when there is true love between the two Souls. For love to be of actual value it must be expressed and accepted, which becomes more and more difficult when our hearts are closed. When each partner is “right with God” and acts on His guidance, a marriage will truly flourish.
Having a beautiful life and enjoying it are two different things. Even a little lack of peace in one key area of our lives can create a wedge between us and true happiness. It can start to crowd out the joy and the love that is there by the Grace of God. My marriage produced three beautiful children in a wonderful home surrounded by family, friends, and loved ones, but issues between my wife and I always seemed to get in the way of a stable foundation. Despite the blessings and abundance that God poured over our lives we were closer to getting a divorce than reaching our tenth anniversary. The love was there between us, but it never seemed to find its way. A wall of words; often harsh, bitter, and angry, expressed our growing frustration and unhappiness.
We tried counseling, worked on our communication, read books, listened to tapes, wrote down our goals together, but no lasting change came of it. We never could seem to clean the slate of the issues that plagued us. We had gone around and around in circles spinning our wheels until we were both worn out. It was affecting every area of our lives. A big part of this dream life was dying and I felt helpless to do anything about it. In a place of resignation I arrived at the Nature Awareness School in November of last year for a weekend retreat. My heart was heavy. I was out of ideas, patience, and motivation. I was not happy with the results I was getting, and though I could not admit it at the time, I was very unhappy with myself. Something had to change.
There is a plus factor being in the physical presence of Del, my teacher, a true Prophet of God. Though communication extends beyond the physical, being there in person has its benefits. From the time I stepped onto the property I began to relax. In my experience, it is much harder to hear Spirit when we are uptight. We keep asking and keep praying with more volume and intensity and wonder why God does not answer us. Sometimes stepping back to take a deep breath and actually listen, with our ears and our heart, makes all the difference.
Within an hour of being on the property I was given an inner insight to a simple exercise to try when I went home. No words were spoken outwardly, but the Prophet, adept at reading hearts, spoke directly to mine. The suggestion? Bring a simple dry erase board to my wife and begin to write down all the issues in our marriage and all those things she and I wished and prayed to be gone from our marriage; erasing each one, multiple times if necessary, until it was fully erased from our hearts and lives. Then on the other side of the board we were to fill it with those qualities we truly wanted to manifest, writing each one down as a foundation of our renewed covenant.
I felt hope well up in my heart for the first time in awhile. If my wife was willing to try it there just might be a chance it could work. Class could have ended at this point and I would have been content, but my heart was still not conditioned to accept the healing I was being offered by the Divine. There were two more crucial components that were needed before I went home to share my gift. First, I was given the gift of remembrance. During an inner contemplation the Prophet took me back over every year of my marriage. With incredible clarity and detail I was able to view my actions and regrets with kindness and understanding. Rising above the harsh emotional and critical viewpoint I was able to forgive myself, something that proved far harder than forgiving my wife.
The second gift was delivered when I sang HU together with the class. During the sacred love song to God, the space in my heart that was opened by forgiving myself was filled with such a deep peace that I committed never to let anything ever again steal it away. My heart was now ready. With my priorities put back in their proper order – God first, then my marriage – I felt confident all would work out for the best. When I arrived home my excitement to share this gift from God trumped any worries or concerns. I explained what I wanted to try and then wrote down a couple of issues I was ready to let go of on the board. When I finally wrote down something I knew my wife would be thrilled to see gone, I watched her initial reluctance disappear. She then joined me in naming and then surrendering, one by one, the hurt and pain.
The results were stunning; greater than I could have hoped for. Every issue written down and erased seemed to lift almost immediately, like the Hands of God scooped it off our shoulders and out of our lives. These were things we had spent hours and weeks and years “discussing” to no avail. Yet they seemed to melt away almost before we had written them on the board to erase them. For several hours that night, and for the next several days, we continued to write down these things slowly weeding them out of our lives. We had both prayed and tried and now, in God’s timing and Grace, they were being removed.
Later in the week when we finally felt there was some room in our marriage and in our hearts again, we turned the board over for the second part of the exercise. We began adding the things we wanted to cultivate in our marriage: to help one another become the best we can be spiritually, to be a harbor of love, and to demonstrate our love and respect on a daily basis. It was as if the Hands of God were filling us up with these Divine qualities. Months later our relationship, rich and full with the fruit of the Spirit, is now also enjoyable, engaging, and fun. It is not only a better relationship, it is a transformed one.
God gave me a simple suggestion to follow through His Prophet, Del Hall. Following that advice in a timely manner has made all the difference in the world. It was the missing “peace” and the breakthrough we had been praying for. How grateful I am God heard and answered my prayer. The positive ripples from this simple gift will be felt for generations to come. This tool works in other areas of life, not just in relationships. Our ability to make conscious choices in our lives – to choose what we want to nurture and what we want to eliminate – is one of God’s sublime gifts to us. Is there an area in your life you would like to welcome the Hand of God to transform?
Written by Chris Comfort
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